The Right of a Child:Love

Rightly absorbed by the circumstances of the events at the Marriage Registry, I intently watched and listened as the handler read out the provisions of the law that pertain what was about to be done. They are all familiar expectations! My mind fought for freedom to stray away from the moment, bearing the fact that I am familiar with the wordings. It took conscious efforts to defeat the struggle. However I was totally overwhelmed by the awe to discover that the provisions are based on Christian teachings and beliefs. I had expected something entirely different. I was yet to resolve the internal riddle when another surprise package hauled itself on my face. The handler read out another part of the provisions: “The Right of a Child”. She read on and on, paused at times to explain for better understanding, and proceed, until we could call it a curtain close. Doubt me not, I could not get it off my mind until I had pondered on it thoroughly and conclusively construed the concerned provisions to be an indication to something of a virtue universally fundamental and worthy: love.

Only few parents, if any, lack this fundamental quality. The few, among the numerous lovers of their children, if accustomed adequate attentions, would render a hundred and one reasons why the affection is missing in their bosoms. As such, the issue of love for children from the parents is not a universal concern as per availability. Rather, it is as per “how”. In other words, it is a task of how to show love!

Beyond doubt there is a distinctive difference between the processes involved in child upbringing in Africa and America, the United States in particular. I do not know much about the European’s methodology but considering the relations in-between these two continents I doubt if there would be much difference, if there is any. The basic determinant in the turnout of societal elements and values, child upbringing inclusive, is the platform of belief on which they abide. The two obvious platform of belief have been the Religion and Humanist. The two structures are absolute alternatives to each other. Likewise the results are expectedly different though the two desire the same of the outcomes. It is, therefore, logical enough that the demonstration and the manifestation of love to children by parents in these continents would diver.  In Africa, for example, there is no debate or problem with attachment parenting. Europe and America do have a struggle with that concept. And I doubt if communist societies in the Asia continent would have. Also, in Africa, the problem related to deciding between the options of staying at home as a wife (full-time house wife) to carter for the children, and being a working mother (career mother) is fast declining. Most African mothers, have, by experience, learnt what it takes to be fulfilling mothers! [And they are not stingy about it to other generations. By tradition they pass such knowledge, wisdom and understanding on and on]. They have understood the value of each decision they make. This is by no means an indication that the Africans have better parenting styles or chances of adequate parenting. We also have our demons that counter adequate parenting. However, they do not shy away from appropriating their behavioral qualities toward their children in a general and personal way they believed would prove the love. Parents all over the universe share in this commitment too!

Another element that differentiates is the style of disciplinary measure. Most African parents could appropriately cane their children at wrongs. Indeed, by experience and legislations, they have learnt to appropriate the disciplinary style adequately. The Europeans and the Americans, I doubt, if they could afford to consider this act of child upbringing. In actual reality, for the Africans, the outcome of such measure has helped out in enhancing the children’s understanding of their parents’ love.

For healthy livings in families and societies, it is paramount that children get the love they craved for. Love is actually not a mere feeling. It is a set of behavioral qualities purposely targeted at giving the children senses of values. The love entails a list of virtues that are directed in giving a child the best in terms of achievement, development, belief and other elements that make him securely comfortable both with the parents and the society. To essentially achieve the aforesaid demand wisdom from the parents is required. There are many theories (and suggestions) about parenting! And many more will come! I do not criticize any except if it is largely humanist based. Nevertheless I will suggest only two requirements:  God and wisdom. God is love Himself! He knows and understands the adequate manner to demonstrate and manifest love. You cannot live outside love with Him. The second requirement is certain as far as God is identified with. Wisdom is inevitable for a life with God. It makes parenting easier! You might be thinking you are doing bad, but, eventually will see that you are doing it right.

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